"And As I Wait For You, Maybe I'm Made More Faithful."

(This is going to be more of a journal entry than anything, so bare with me.)
The past few weeks have been...interesting. I recently moved out of my parent's house into Nathan's grandparents' and it's been quite a change. First off, there is no internet. If you know me at all, you know how absolutely horrifying that is for me. I haven't been able to blog (Which has been killing me), and the only way I can really keep up with any form of social networking is on my iPhone screen. I have had to learn to pretty much fend for myself. I have to buy groceries if I want to eat, do my own dishes (by hand, no dishwasher), and pretty much every thing you wish your mom would do for you, but isn't there to. I haven't found a solid job, therefore I've been living off of random babysitting jobs and things that come up, and that alone can get stressful.

Where am I going with all of this? God is still good, even if this season of my life isn't the best. I have learned from past experiences, that there is no such thing as a comfortable season with God. If I even start thinking that my life is perfect in every aspect, He is quick to get me back to reality. Now, God isn't a cruel monster that just wants you to suffer. And I think so many times we see it in this way, because we don't understand where our hardships come from. We say "God, I serve you wholeheartedly, I have given you my life, and still you choose to give me problems to deal with? I thought you loved me." And you are correct. He does. He gives you hardships and hard seasons in life because He DOES love you. Think of it this way....A parent that just lets their child do whatever they want, without consequences or rules or spankings (yes, kids these days still need them) would probably end up with a wild child; doing whatever they want, whenever they want, with no fear of authority. Not that they would stop loving their parents any less, but there wouldn't be a trust that the parent has everything under control. It would almost not give the parent a chance to "show off" their love, even if at first it comes off harsh. The same thing would happen if God just allowed us to do what we wanted. Our love for Him would probably not change, we would still think He was a good guy, but there would be no opportunity for him to show off how merciful, wonderful, faithful He is. I am taking the season that I am now with that perspective. Yes, things are hard, money is tight, and I don't understand why things are the way they are, but I know He does it all because He loves me and wants me to continue to grab a hold of how faithful He truly is. He wants me to trust Him for everything, and never ever think that things will just come because I make them happen. He wants me on my face, praying the mess out of my situation, and trusting Him even when the door seems slammed shut, because then, He gets to show up in my situation, completely rock my life, open a crazy awesome door, and do it in a way that I could've never done it. That is the God that I serve.
 Waiting for Him to show up can be tough, but it makes me trust Him and have even more faith that He will. :)